Similar to the topic I discussed last week ("saying what you mean"), this topic--accepting a compliment--also seems like it should be straightforward. But, for many people it is notably difficult. That said, my recommendation for accepting compliments is simple: Step 1: Say "thank you," "I appreciate it," or something else that acknowledges that the compliment was meaningful to you in a positive way. Step 2: You're done! For some people, both Step 1 and especially Step 2 are challenging. Particularly, for individuals suffering from low self-esteem, it can be hard to accept that we might merit a compliment. Think for a moment how many times you have received a compliment but started
Thanksgiving is a time of year when we were often asked to think about what makes us thankful. For some people, that can be a hard process. Maybe it feels as though there is not much to be thankful about. Or maybe life is so overwhelming at times that there are few moments to notice the things that we know we are thankful for. At the same time, in my clinical experience, being able to express thanks or - said another way - being able to notice appreciation can have a positive cumulative impact on overall happiness. Does this feel challenging? My recommendation is start small. Very small. If you do not feel as though you have anything in your life that brings you appreciation, maybe
The idea of "saying what you mean" sounds simple enough, but for many of us it's incredibly challenging. This comes up in many contexts, but, in my clinical experience, where I tend to see it most is in arguments. "It's over" and "I hate you" are strong words to say in an arguments, and sometimes people find themselves saying them when they are not literally true. The problem with uttering these sentences when they are not literally true is that the words themselves start to become devalued. When we say "it's over" enough times to the same person, it becomes harder to actually end the relationship, because we are not believed (like the Boy Who Cried Wolf). It also destabilizes the relat
Thanksgiving can be a hard time of year for many people. As schools and workplaces shut down, many people without family or friends to join them for the holidays feel particularly lonely during this time. Others may be spending Thanksgiving with families that may contain challenging individuals with whom there may be a history of past conflicts. Many people experience spikes in their anxiety and depression symptoms during this time of year. In addition to contending with holidays, the drop in temperatures and decrease in daylight hours that fall brings can be challenging. If any of these situations describe you, in my clinical experience, you are definitely not alone. So, what can be
